All of these things got me thinking again about something I would probably not have completely thought was the case a few years ago and it is this…

The Local Church is the Hope of the World

People say this all of the time but so often they say it and then 3 weeks later they are “shopping” for a new church or they say it and never actually get planted in one place long enough to experience the life giving community that is found here. Now I’m not saying my church is perfect by any means because we are all sinners and so therefore perfection is not obtainable but what I am saying is that as a believer and disciple of Christ it is vital to be planted in the Church and to be planted in a community of believers that challenge you, pray for you and push you to seek God’s best for your life. The Church is the only thing Jesus ever built and it is the plan for redeeming the world.

No believer can go through life and survive without being part of the Body. It does not matter where you get planted whether it is contemporary, traditional, small, big or whatever all that matters is that as a follower of Christ we are connected to a local body of Believers who are teaching truth, pursuing the heart of God and believing that we have a great work to accomplish in this earth so that all may come to know the precious name of Jesus.

Our hope is found in Christ and the Church is His way of proclaiming it to the world!

I’m one of those people who when they screw things up I process and process to try to be sure that it never happens again and also try to apologize to make things right as quickly as possible. In my processing, I am discovering a one thing… Every failure on my part is an opportunity for me to grow and for God to develop me more as a person and a leader.

As a young leader one of the most arrogant things I could ever believe would be that I have nothing left to learn and that I have arrived. In this season where God is unveiling my weaknesses and my areas that need work I am praying that I would never lose sight of two things…

1) He is perfect and that He will pour out His grace and love as I develop, stumble, fall and get back up to serve Him with more passion and zeal.

2) If I ever stop being teachable, I’m toast!

God promises to work all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). So as I grow as I leader my prayer has become God work even my blunders and mishaps for good in my life and in the lives of those they effect. You are the perfect and I am not.

It wasn’t long after I started working there that God continually impressed upon my heart John 3:30 where it says ” I must decrease and you must increase.” As I began to hide these words in my heart, my perspective shifted… this life He has given me to lead is not about me… It’s about Him receiving the glory for what He is doing inside of me. Every once in a while, I will look up from what I am doing to realize and thank God that He is working in me.

Tonight is one of those nights… As I am sitting here dripping wet from a night of hanging out with kids at Birchcroft realizing that a year ago… I would have been begging to go inside at the first sign of rain.. I would have whined and complained about being wet once we didn’t leave and lastly I would have missed the opportunity to show kids that I love them even when it is cold and rainy outside. You see instead… tonight I played a little longer, hugged the kids soaking wet, and saw that in the midst of me no longer caring about my comfort I was able to watch God work in the lives of those around me.

I have by no means mastered this whole dying to myself thing but I am seeing small but sure signs of growth… And for that I am thankful!

1) God is teaching me, growing me and challenging me to become better, more on fire, and more sold out to Him and only Him than I ever thought possible. It is sometimes hard as He exposes my weaknesses, opens up my sometimes unwillingness to do things His way and the way of those placed above me and then asks me “Am I worth laying aside what you think is best for what I say is best?” This is coming up in my personal life, in my life at One7, and as I do ministry with those around me. My way is not always what I need to do often… whether to God or the leaders placed above me I need to submit to the authority placed above and sometimes that is just down right hard for me… but through it all I am being shaped, molded and challenged to die to myself and live in Him.

2) I am surrounded by some of the most amazing people on the planet and each one makes me better because they are in my life! From the people I work with to my closest friends to my mentors, each one challenges me, pushes me and believe in me and the potential and for that I am beyond thankful. God has surrounded me with a great “family” and “house” to be a part of and I am humbled to walk through life with each of these people in a different way.

3) While seminary is coming to an end in just 8 short months… it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and I do not want to take the final months, classes, and times with my classmates for granted. I have learned something valuable from each of them and to think… I had no idea why God would “make” me go to seminary 3 years ago… and while the picture still isn’t super clear… I’m so grateful I obeyed His call.

4) This last simple thought tonight may not be revelation to you but it certainly one of the greatest things God is teaching me right now… No matter what is going on, in the highest moments or the lowest valleys 2 things are true… I am never alone and He is always enough!

I am so thankful for the life that God is giving me and the people He has placed in my life!

Now back to enjoying a hot cup of tea and sitting on the porch with the dogs…

It’s hitting me as I get alone with God this morning that I am in a season where He is exposing to me my greatest weaknesses and the things that are hindering me as a follower of Christ and a leader. The most recent one that is coming to the surface is my tendency to make excuses and be lazy… Now let me explain because for those that know me you are most likely thinking how can she be lazy she’s always so busy but I’m not talking about my actions I’m talking about my heart.

There are so many times there is a task, school project or work project set before me that I will procrastinate on or wait until my back is so against the wall that it is not possible to do it with both excellence and on time so I choose to do one of a few things not do it or make an excuse about how it’s not done or do it halfway just to get by. Here’s what I’m realizing though is that God hasn’t called me to do things halfway or just because He needs me to do them. He has called me to do things for His glory and if I am not going to do them that way He is more than willing to find someone else who will!

My heart of laziness and procrastination is way overdue for a prune and God is using this season to expose the things that are dead and rotting in my life in order that I may act, learn, grow and become more of the woman and follower of Christ that I am created to be. God doesn’t want my excuses, they actually disgust Him. God doesn’t want me to tell Him to wait a minute before I pursue the task set before me, my procrastination is simply delayed obedience which is disobedience. God doesn’t want me halfway… He wants my everything. And it is at this point where I realize that my Savior has loved me in my sin, is giving me the opportunity to grow, and is guiding me to pursue Him more deeply…

But that growth requires a choice to allow Him to prune away my rotting branches so that I may become more fruitful for Him… And today that is the choice I’m making. God prune me, expose my rotting branches, and then strengthen me to become the woman You created me to be!

As in a moment I realized… He has answered my prayer. He has been faithful to the things I begged Him for. He is using me!

I never imagined that three years later I would be working in a ministry that has become my heartbeat. One7 has been the answer to my prayer of God use me. On a daily basis, I am being given the opportunity to serve Him, be a voice of hope that can be found only in Him and tangibly be His hands and feet as I go through my day. My job is by no means glamorous. I don’t have a fancy office, a rich man’s salary, and some days I find myself doing things that most people would hate (driving a 15 passenger van at 6:30 in the morning, scrubbing a toilet that is dirty, and the list goes on) but in all of that I am right in the middle of the will of God being used for His glory!

When I prayed that simple prayer, I had no idea that I would spend my senior year of college feeling lost and alone, I would graduate and then only 7 months later be let go from my first real job, I would spend the next almost year without a job, I would then get a job only to quit it 4 months later and that when I agreed to come on part time and now full time for a ministry that seemed so foreign to me that I would stepping into one of the greatest seasons of life and ministry I could have ever dreamed of.

GOD has been so faithful to me… He has taken me along a seemingly strange path to get me right where I am but in all of the twists and turns I can honestly say… He has answered my prayers. He has heard my cries to be used by Him… HE is using me.

To get this series of posts started I thought I would share my top 5 moments from the trip…

1) Reading the Bible with Marisol- several nights I was given the opportunity to sit and read the bible with one of the girls on the trip and it was so much fun to watch her dig deeply into God’s word for the first time

2) Watching Barak, one of the other interns, rap on stage at church the sunday morning we were there! He did a great job & God was truly honored through his worship.

3) Every night we hung out with the kids from a local apt complex and it was awesome to see our kids really invest in the lives of the kids around them! They loved them like Jesus would love every person He met.

4) Arlington Racetrack- we ran a soccer camp at the track last week and the kids were so much fun to get to know and our students did a great job of sharing their stories with them & making them feel so special!

5) Downtown- We spent the 4th of July in the city at the zoo and beach. It was so much fun to just hang out and play as a group for the day! It was the best fourth ever…

The trip was full of laughter,joy & growth and I am so blessed to have been a part,

The last 6-8 weeks have been a huge challenge for me. I have been on a roller coaster ride it feels like with God. One day I feel like I’m tracking right alongside of Him and the next I feel like I am a million miles away and wouldn’t know what His voice sounded like if it was screaming in my ear. So with all of that said here is a quick update on life…

- Things at One7 are moving rapidly and really challenging me to grow as a person and a leader. Love what I do but it has been a challenge lately as it is just a tough season.

- We are preparing to leave and take 40 kids on a 2 week trip to Chicago starting next Friday… Please pray for me!

- Seminary is moving along and I only have a year left to go. This time next June I will have graduated and will be rejoicing in the accomplishment that is finishing my seminary degree.

- God is really working on my heart and trying to teach me that everything must come from Him… my joy, my peace, my worth, my provision… it is all His and not mine to control… My word in this season of life has become surrender.

Ok so those are the bullet points… Now back to the grind for me…

I’m realizing however that so many people, leaders and members of churches go their whole lives only letting people in on the parts of themselves they want others to see and try to keep the crap and dirt hidden from the world. It’s like we say I’m completely fine with being authentic if it is comfortable or my life is good but when things are bad I’m going to fake it, avoid it, and hide from the people who want to know me the most. When things are tough, hard or we are struggling we have this tendency when someone asks how we  to put on a smile and say, “fine or good” because in that moment being authentic and real would just be too uncomfortable, too vulnerable, and may give the impression that we don’t have it all together.

We are all about being real when things are good or we are not the one struggling but the moment we are hurting or struggling we trade authenticity for a fake smile and a typical church answer.

God is really convicting me about my comfortable and convenient authenticity and challenging me to be real in the hurt, the pain, and struggle. He knows we are going to struggle, as people we all struggle… I feel like if we were to be real and authentic in the struggle, hurt, and failures of our lives, we would stop projecting this idea that Christians have it all together. And through that we would truly be able to be the body of Christ in its rawest form and reach out to the hurting, broken, and lost.

I am left wondering how many more people would be willing to step foot in our churches and ministries if they knew that no matter what they brought to the table they could be real and experience the powerful, transforming love and grace of Jesus. It’s challenging me to shed my convenient authenticity that is really not authentic at all and choose to allow God to work on my broken places, cover my failures with His grace, and use my life as an example of what He can do when a broken person becomes completely dependent on God.

I find this morning that I am at last physically and mentally rested, that I am spiritually filled but today the emotional exhaustion is very real. The rest I have experienced has given the emotions a chance to rise to the surface and I am aware right now how broken before the Lord I am. He is revealing to me the answer to the prayer of God break my heart for what breaks yours. It is that He is broken deeply for the poor, the hurting, the abandoned, the overlooked, and the those who are in desperate need of His touch. While this breaks me deeply it also makes me realize how easy as Christians it is easy to settle into our easy church routines and miss the hurting world around us.

The last few months have changed my life as I have seen and been part of first hand the brokenness that surrounds our world. I am changing, I am becoming more aware, and I am willing to get in the dirt and love like I have never loved before. I find myself broken before God and humbled to my face in prayer for those who are hurting and rejoicing as I see God move in front of my very eyes. It’s the hardest thing I have ever experienced. The pain in my heart for those who are hurting is real. The joy to be a part of the process is beautiful but it has left me completely broken before the Lord and asking Him to simply use me to fulfill His purpose in the lives that He loves.

While I am broken, I am also being filled to the point of overflowing with the strength, grace, and dependence upon God that He is the only One that matters. It is through Him that I will remain sensitive to His heart, used for His glory, and able to watch Him revive the hurting and abandoned in the midst of being humbled and surrendered to God.

(thanks for allowing me to process out loud and for bearing with me in this real sometimes un-eloquent journey)